*7 COMMON IGNORANCE AMONG CHRISTIAN SINGLES*
If you are still single, there are many things that may attract you to a man or woman for marital relationship which has nothing to do with marriage, but you may be willfully ignorant of them. Here is the list of such things:
When you see a brother who plays a musical instrument very well or a young lady or man who has a good voice, and you feel attracted to the person for marital relationship, now what does singing or musical instrument has to do with marriage? It is called *single ignorance.* You may not realize this until you get into marital relationship or you get married that you will know that what attracted you to the person in the first instance has nothing to do with having a successful marriage at all!
This is very funny, but to many singles out there, it is not funny at all. It is rather a costly ignorance. When you are attracted to a man because he knows how to dress very well, or to a lady because she has straight legs, because the person is tall, slim, light skinned, or because the person has good set of teeth, long hair, or a good smile, you are under the influence of common singles’ ignorance, because none of these things have anything to do with having a good marriage.
If you go into marital relationship or get married wrongly to a person because of physical attraction, when the agony of bad marriage overwhelms you, you will wish to use cutlass to cut off the straight legs or whatever that lured you to the person.
In the book of Proverbs 31: 30, the Bible says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” If you are single and you are still overwhelmed with single exorbitance, this Bible verse will not make any sense to you. You will feel like, “No o, beauty is something to me o. I want to marry a beautiful woman, that is my longtime dream.” Or “I want to marry a handsome man; in fact I can’t marry no other than that.” And you even quote Bible to it that God gives good things to His children. You know what? To the single, beauty is something or everything, but to the married, beauty is nothing.
If you see a beautiful lady or a handsome young man, and you are attracted to the person for marital relationship, because of the beauty, you know what? You are under the influence of single ignorance which will soon clear from your eyes when you get into it.
Physical beauty has nothing to do with a good or happy marriage. If physical beauty has anything to contribute to happy marriage, why do celebrities have more divorce rate? *Why do most men with beautiful wives still cheat on their wives or abuse them physically or verbally?* It is simply because physical beauty has nothing to do with having a good marriage, and just as the Bible says in Proverbs 31:30 that beauty is passing – meaning the impression that the beauty of the person has on you will later pass away in marriage and you will face the reality.
FINANCIAL & MATERIAL INFLUENCE
If you marry somebody because the person is rich or have a good job or business, after you get married, you then realize that God already destined you to prosper on your own without the person. Then you will wish you married the right person and prospered together. When you marry somebody because of their financial or material influence, you will not have respect for the person and you will not have rest of mind. Later you will realize that you could have made it rich without the person, that you could have married the poor right person and made it together.
When you see a couple in a brand new latest SUV, and they wear same design; When you see a couple spending their vacation or summer in an expensive place outside country, and you envy them and wish you have such marriage, Ha! I pity you, You don’t know that all those things have nothing to do with happy home. Money, materials and others have nothing to do with a good and Godly home. For example, there is no amount of money your husband may have that can console you when you realize he is cheating on you.
If you are attracted to a lady because she has a good job or a man because he has money and good car, it means you have not known what marriage is all about. Do you know that more rich people commit suicide than the poor? Do you know that more wealthy couples divorce than poor couples? Do you know that money does not give joy and satisfaction in marriage? You may not believe this until you get into it; this is a common ignorance among the singles.
It is unfortunate that many singles are getting into marriage with complete ignorance of the priorities of marriage and with mistaken facts about marriage.
Another common ignorance among singles in choosing a partner in marriage is education. You want to marry, and you have this idol of level of education in your heart that the lady you want to marry must be educated or the man you want to marry must not have lesser level of education than you. When you ignore the perfect Will of God for your life because he is not as educated as you want or because her academic qualification is too low, and you feel, “How will people feel that after all my education I now marry this person with low academic qualification.” Will it not sound well for people to hear that the person you want to marry graduated from so-so university, or s/he is a Dr, Lawyer, Engr. Etc.? You know what? People you are trying to impress by marrying a wrong ‘educated’ person will not be there with you in the marriage when the tragedy of wrong marriage starts to press on you.
Do you want to marry someone from a particular tribe or you want to marry the perfect Will of God for your life? Will it not be so painful that the heart-breaking wrong person you marry is of same tribe with you or so peaceful that the loving, Godly and right person you marry is from another tribe? Which one is better for you?
It is funny when I hear people say they must marry from their tribe as if they have not seen the worst husbands or wives from that tribe of theirs; as if marrying from their tribe is more important than marrying in the Lord.
When you allow your parents to choose for you instead of allowing God to choose for you or when you choose to marry somebody because his or her parents are good or Godly; If you go into marital relationship with somebody because it is the wish of your parents or because the parents of the person are ministers, popular, or powerful in the society, such is called ignorance of the singles. When you enter into the wrong marriage, your parents or the parents of your spouse will not be there with you.
THE ONLY RIGHT CHOICE
If you don’t want to marry and mar your life, destiny, ministry and eternity, but you want to marry and make it in life, and make heaven, then the only person you can marry and never regret is the person who is the Will of God for you. God has created a person for you that fits your life, destiny and God’s program for you and that is who is called the Will of God in marriage. If you miss the right school, the right career or the right job, please do not miss the right person God has created for you because if you miss him/her, you may miss everything including heaven.
HOW TO DISCOVER THE WILL OF GOD IN MARRIAGE
1. Surrender your life to Jesus. Only in Christ can you have the Will of God when you are genuinely saved.
2. Surrender your will and ways to God. Let His Will be your will and His Way be yours, no idol.
3. Seek Him for guidance. Lean not on your own understanding
4. Settle for God’s Perfect Will, not His permissive Will.
5. Stay pure till marriage. No premarital inordinate affection or sexual immorality.
Here is the word of God – Isaiah 1:19, 20:
“If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land; But if you refuse and rebel, You shall be devoured by the sword”; For the mouth of the LORD has Spoken